This post isn’t going to teach you anything about becoming a writer, it’s more of a short biography on why I decided to write in the first place. You see when most people get that dream of becoming a author, it’s mostly due to falling in love with books and finally finding the courage to step up and say “Hey, I think I have this great idea for a novel.” Well, my life story is similar in a way, with the love of books and the great ideas(Well I think they are great) but with the only exception that writing saved my life and I thought I’d tell you how.
But first let’s start with a little exposition…
Life is made up of a bunch of good and bad choices. Some we ignore and some we learn from in the hopes that we’ll be able to recreate them or hinder them from occurring once again. However, as humans, some of us foolishly believe that everyone gets a balance of these choices which is clearly not the case.
I believe this may be because choices can be so small, so simple; yet incredibly deceitful as luck, social standings, attitude, or a mixture of the three cause them to snowball in something more impactful down the line. Pretty much a choice is like a simple paper cut that has the ability to get an infection, slowly, silently spreading through the system until it becomes too late to find the cure.
For example, that simple choice of not asking that girl you like to the prom has led to someone else taking your place; and now you’re seated in the third row of their wedding, watching what should have been your bride walk down the aisle. Or maybe your aspirations to become a famous actor has altered your choices along the way as you take up offers from kind strangers while unaware of their nefarious intent; as your roles become more perverted along with your world.
Well, that was a bit dark… I guess what I’m trying to say is that my life was full of those small cuts.
You see I started out as a shy kid who was willing to help out whenever you asked and I believe that combination turned me into the perfect victim, to the point where I thought the people that bullied me were my friends. Some of you out there might know what it’s like when no one knows you by your name. But instead they refer to you by your weight, your height, by the colour of your skin or just by how disgusting you look to the world—But hey, at least they know you, right?
Well, that was me—and the only place that I could escape from that abuse, where I could hide away from the world and be safe was at home. I was so scared of the outside world that things people would have achieved when they were in high school; I’ve started to achieve them now. Most people get their full license at the age of 16, I got mine at the age of 24. Most people get their first job at the age of 17, I got mine at the age of 26. Most people get their first kiss in high school while I’m turning 27 next month and by today’s standards should have a grandchild by now.
And all because of the greatest mistake of my life, and that was the fact that I should have gotten help.
There are 7 billion people on this planet, there must be one person out there that must like me, for me? I mean I shouldn’t have suffered like this, no one should have suffered from the hands of bullies. But we do every day, every hour of the fucking week and all because of another bad choice we usually make and that is where we left it too late. I let bullies continue to bully me, continue to diminish my existence due to social media—something that has the amazing ability to make you connected and disconnected at the same time.
It’s weird watching Facebook posts of a girl who told me that "no one will ever love you." Get the perfect life with the perfect job in order to get ready for the start of their perfect family. While their bullying caused my depression. Where I have to find the energy, the willpower to leave my house every morning. I mean I can’t even look in the mirror sometimes because I finally see what they see.
But, eventually... I escaped!
I decided that loneliness was less painful than the bullying and had to focus all my effort on finding the joy in my life. One of them was writing where I could heal my wounds by creating worlds that I wanted to live in, to create societies and rules that fixed our current systems, or to make people that saw the world with their heart first, who loved each other without any prejudice or judgement. And the more I wrote the more I wanted to do this for a living so I could escape reality for a while and be somewhere else—somewhere safe.
Until I realised that writing made the real world safe, or that I started to understand it a bit more due to it. Such as the fact that if I was surrounded by negative people, I just needed to find positive people. So I thought I’d also pursue another passion of mine and that was Geeky/Pop Culture interests and hopefully, meet up with people who had a passion for them as well. Which I eventually did as I met new people, wonderful people that had a heart for things other than hate. Until I was finally able to trust the world once again and find more like-minded individuals who eventually became true friends that actually call me by my name.
And now I’m on to my next adventure of finding my soulmate. I might give Dating websites a go and let you know about my experiences with online dating… Or Dating in general as I finally find the courage to go out into the real world and all because I started to write.
And you can have that too.
I think after all this I could at least give you a little bit of advice to help you from both a writing standpoint and social standpoint and that is to cut out the negativity in your life and focus with all your might on the positive. Positive things, positive places, positive people—It may be hard to believe that they exist but they’re out there you just need to look.